5 Sex Workouts That Will Get You Ripped

Disappointed in yourself for missing the gym today? It’s okay, find yourself a partner and get a pump in. Below is a full body sex workout routine. 


Let’s get right to it with some core. Skip the foreplay stuff, ain’t no body got time for that! Re-runs of Workaholics start in 23 minutes on Comedy Central. 

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So pretty much every sex position is going to engage your core somewhat but the Missionary position or some variant of it will engage it the most. This is the move everyone lost their virginity to. Missionary position is pretty much planks but adding the sex stuff. Great workout for your abs, also your shoulders and arms too! Keep that position for exactly 50 thrusts. Count in your head because she will not find it sexy… trust me.

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Cowgirl is a great workout for your hips. It’s just like barbell hip thrusts but you got a girl on top of you. Don’t let her do all the work on this one, remember… gains bro! Elevate your pelvis and bend your knees to engage your glutes too. Complete at least 4 reps of ten. 

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The Wheelbarrow sex position will give your glutes a brutal workout. It looks like it sounds. Warning! Do this with good form or you might hurt yourself. Always do the heavy lifting with your legs and not your back. Please for the love of God wear a weight lifting belt, safety first ya’ll. Do 3 reps of 8 and take breaks in between sets. Don’t wear your self out. 

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The Superman will leave your arms sore for a week if done right. Take her from behind and put your hands around her waist. Have her wrap her legs around your back and put her hands on your knees. As you stand up she should remain horizontal. You’re going to have to support her whole body weight with your upper body strength. This position is a tough one so take your time and don’t do too many reps. 3 sets of 5 should do it. This is also a good test to see if your girl has been cheating on her diet.

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Flat Doggie Style will take care of your shoulders. It’s doggie style but instead of the girl being on her knees she is laying flat on her stomach. You’re going to have to mostly support yourself with your shoulders, arms and traps. It’s relatively easy so go high reps with this one. 3 sets of 15 is about right. If you start to get a little bored listen to a song that’ll get you pumped up. A boring workout is a bad workout. 

So there you go, an emergency back up workout plan if you need it. Remember, this is for work not pleasure so don’t dick around.


We are not held responsible for your misuse of these positions.